ACTV-2 (2nd edition) is a 24-section group intervention program* designed to guide domestic violence offenders to put their lives and relationships on an entirely different track by equipping them to make different choices than they’ve made in the past. We are working with them to increase their awareness of the factors that influence their behavior (e.g., past experiences, unwanted internal experiences, barriers to change) and, building on that awareness, to learn new, workable behaviors consistent with their values.

One of our main goals is to help the participants learn these skills by direct experience. A good analogy is teaching someone to ride a bike. Verbal instruction alone will never be enough. He or she needs to get on the bike and let their body learn how to do it. The same thing is true of the skills presented in this manual. As the group members move through the skill-building sessions, we may be tempted to help them with advice, problem-solving, and extra explanations or instructions, but we need to let them come to realizations on their own and experience the confusion and frustration that inevitably comes with learning these new (and sometimes counterintuitive) skills.

A major obstacle to this type of learning is the mind. Participants’ rules, beliefs, attitudes, thoughts, etc. will act as barriers to the learn-by-doing approach, although your use of metaphors and in-the-moment exercises will help them get past some of the barriers that language and thinking create. Our mind may also get in the way! For example, new facilitators will sometimes inform participants of the meaning of metaphors or exercises before presenting them or immediately after, which can undermine their impact. Of course we want to do everything possible to ensure that participants get all they can out of this program, but we may need to step back and just “sit with” your urge to explain or guide them. They may not get it in the way we want or expect them to, and that’s okay.

Overall, the ACTV facilitator’s stance is non-confrontational and collaborative. We relate to the participants from an equal, compassionate, genuine and sharing point of view, and we respect their ability to shift from ineffective to effective behavior. We can model the supportive, respectful behavior you want to teach and “roll with resistance” in 2 valuable ways: by showing willingness to experience your own discomfort, and by not arguing, lecturing, or attempting to convince the participants. Finally, we try not to express your judgment or opinions about a participant’s experience.

*ACTV-2 duration and format is flexible and tailored to specific state requirements.